Modern Mythical Creatures

SparkLife » Modern Mythical Creatures: "Modern Mythical Creatures"

I found this cool article on sparknotes and thought I would share :)


In the Olden Days, when they didn’t have Google or public school and they sat around and ate rocks all the time (they don’t make rocks like they used to, by the way), humanity had superstitions and mythical figures to account for everyday happenings, like why the sun comes up and why seasons change.
But in this day and age, when burritos have replaced rocks and iPhones have replaced…square rocks, there aren’t as many superstitions hanging around, and humanity is suffering because of it! Probably, anyway.
So here, friends, is my list of the mythical creatures for the 21st century!
The Fire Drill Fairy
This fairy doesn’t give that sissy little tinkle-tinkle of a magic bell. This one goes BLAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG and pulls you away from classes and tests. This fairy means good luck when you’re taking a nerve-racking essay test, so be sure to thank her by tinkling a little silver bell before finishing that test the next day.
The Awkward Goblin
Wherever the Awkward Goblin goes, conversations wilt and texts convos dry up, so that the only thing left to say is "sooooooo…," and silence reigns. Expect this imp to rear his warty head when you are speaking to your crush, a python, or your crush’s pet python. Do not fear, however! In many cases, this evil spirit can be warded off by the holy sign of the Awkward Turtle! Simply put your two hands on top of each other, pointing away from you, and wiggle your thumbs like nobody’s business.
The Jerk Demon
This evil creature mostly affects men. No matter how awesome a guy is, the Jerk Demon will harry him, buzzing by his ear and whispering "BOOOOOOBZ!" It is his choice whether to stay on the straight and narrow path of awesomeness, or go off into the Swamps of Jerkiness. Many men have fallen. Oh, so many.

The Drama Beast
More accurately pronounced, the Duh-RAMA!!!!!!!!!! Beast. Whereas the Jerk Demon affects mostly guys, the Drama Beast finds a foothold in so many women, clinging to their back and causing them to take everything way too seriously. Girls suffering from prolonged exposure to the Drama Beast often lose their ability to chill.
The Nerd Lord
A benevolent god of nerdiness, giving his followers gifts in the form of obscure references when they least expect them to come. His followers are a people apart, but are growing rapidly.
The LOL Cats
These cats are the cutest, most fun little things, coming into conversations randomly, riding their little ROFLcopters and spreading laughter. However, like the tribbles from Star Trek (Nerd Lord striking here, sorry) they are dangerous when used in large numbers. They can strip a human of all true laughter, causing him to only hiccup. The solution—ALOL cats.Is Coffinmaker missing any mythical figures?